Decisions, Decisions

As the work days wear on, I find myself plagued by that age old question -- what do I wear today?

Come on, ladies, and maybe some of you guys, too, I KNOW you know what I'm talking about. It's the perpetual decision looming behind the closet door morning after morning.

I open the door and flip the light switch. Illuminated before me is a vast array of pretty-looking garments. One would think, WOW! This is a great closet!

I want to wear something other than black today. It seems I'm always clad in black slacks, black capris, black skirts, black jackets. I have a lot of black, I guess. I don't particularly know why.

I reach for the brown blazer then remember Amanda says she doesn't like it on me. Makes me look frumpy. I don't want to look "frumpy."

I fondle the sleeve of the red tailored Studio I dress, recalling the last time I wore it which was to a co-worker's wedding three years ago. It's gorgeous -- would be ideal for my new job. As soon as my fingers hit the sleeve, I also remember why it hasn't been worn in three years. IT'S TOO SMALL.

At this point, I vow to lose the twenty pounds (a whole dress size) I put on during chemo three years ago and STILL haven't managed to shed.

My eyes next fall on the new shirt I bought on clearance at Macy's after Christmas sale. Really stylish, it's hot. I take it out, grab beige capri's and make four steps toward the bedroom before halting in my tracks. The neckline is awfully revealing........perhaps a little too risque for the country club front desk. Can't have cleavage showing (yes, this shirt gives EVEN ME the appearance of breasts.....that's why I bought it!)

So, it's back to square one.

I re-hang the hot shirt. Perhaps something to go with these beige capri's will work.

I reach for the sleeveless leopard-spotted turtle neck with decorative buttons adorning the back. It looks good with black, brown, or beige and doesn't accent the disappearing waistline I'm so displeased with (again, why I bought it.) Perfect!

EXCEPT, what if I get cold? I don't have a dressy enough blazer or sweater to put with the top. More importantly, what if my upper arms gross somebody out? That would NOT be acceptable. I hear so many females declare, " I don't wear sleeveless tops because my upper arms are flabby," as if to inform it's a duty of all women everywhere. What if my new co-workers have this bare arm-itis? Hmmmmmm......maybe I'll rethink my choice.

I wish I was like Mike. He gets dressed in the dark most mornings, a feat which completely eludes me. He dons a short-sleeved or long-sleeved Oxford or pullover with a pair of coordinating Dockers. His most difficult decision certainly must be which pair of socks to wear. Or maybe, did Cathy iron this or did I snag it from the laundry room too quickly.

Rifling through my "great closet" there is something wrong with EVERYTHING I look at.

I steal a glance at the clock on the bathroom counter. I've already wasted a full eight minutes and still have nothing to wear!

I need to leave the house by 7:40 to be comfortably in my chair before 8:00, which by the way, is part of my actual job description. You think at some point in the past, someone may have mistaken 8:10 or 8:15 for 8:00? So, yes, this IS high school where attendance is taken via the time clock and video surveillance. The tardy bell rings promptly at 8:00 a.m. -- sharp. I'm not willing to get detention. Besides, if I leave later than 7:40, I won't get my usual parking spot across from the walkway, nor will I have time to stop by the club's kitchen to fill up a glass of ice water or cranberry juice cocktail. Perish the thought! I must get a move-on.

That said, I have an easy solution. The black ankle length capri's and the black & white skirted top I also purchased on clearance at Macy's after Christmas. It flatters my non-existing waist and I receive compliments each time I wear it. Another benefit, I haven't technically worn it to "work" yet. I interviewed in the outfit for this job, but only my boss and one receptionist saw me.

Sigh.

So much for wearing something other than black.

But hey, the proverbial "THEY" say black makes you look thinner.

And, why would I possibly want to ever appear thicker?